About this Masterclass
I designed this masterclass as a place for you to come to anytime you experience something that dysregulates your nervous system… Those everyday moments when your body reacts before your mind can lead.
For example, here are some common stressors that throw people into dysregulation:
Heated arguments
Feeling overwhelmed
Receiving harsh criticism
Sitting in heavy, unexpected traffic
Experiencing negative or limiting thoughts
When one of these stressors begins to bubble-up inside your brain and body, it can have the power to throw off your entire day…
Instead of letting that happen, this program will give you quick actions you can take to not just regulate, but come back better than before.
Each lesson in this masterclass will cover one common nervous system disruptor, and how to tackle it quickly.
What do I mean by “antifragile nervous system”?
Antifragility is a term coined by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, the author of one of my favorite books, Antifragile.
If being resilient is about bouncing back, being antifragile is about bouncing back even better than before…
For example: think about the Hydra from Greek mythology. If you cut off a Hydra’s head, two more grow in its place. Cut those, and even more grow. The more damage it takes, the stronger it gets.
That’s what being antifragile is about.
And here’s how it applies to your nervous system:
The goal is to become a person who recovers, responds, and grows stronger from the daily stressors that we all experience…
That’s why I call it The Antifragile Nervous System.
FORMAT
Media: 🎥 Video, 📝 Written
Total length: 50–60 min.
Number of lessons: 10
Recommendation: Watch in full once, then return to individual lessons whenever a specific challenge shows up.
CONTENTS
How to regulate your nervous system…
When you’re receiving negative feedback or criticism
When you feel unheard, dismissed, or misunderstood
When you’re overwhelmed, have too much to do, and don’t know where to start
When you’re experiencing digital overload
When you’re stressed and in a rush or running late
When you’re experiencing sensory overwhelm
When you experience that afternoon crash
When you receive an upsetting text, email, or notification
When you’re about to be judged, watched, or evaluated (regulation techniques for job interviews, presentations, big speeches, etc.)
When you can’t relax and “turn off” after a stressful day of work
1
How to regulate your nervous system when you’re receiving negative feedback or criticism
Criticism can feel like danger because your nervous system may interpret it as rejection, humiliation, or a threat to your identity.
That’s why even useful feedback can sting.
Your body instinctively wants to defend, explain, attack, collapse, or prove the other person wrong.
Even if the feedback is only be about one specific thing—like a project for work or a decision you made—your nervous system can turn it into something much bigger:
The other person shares feedback about your project, and you digest it as, “What if I’m not good enough?”
Here’s what to do to regulate your nervous system:
Do not respond immediately.
Take one slow breath and silently remind yourself that, “This is information, it’s not my identity.”
Then ask yourself:
“What part of this is useful?”
“What part of this is noise?”
“What can I learn without attacking myself?”
If you need time to regulate, say, “Let me think about that.” That one sentence gives your nervous system room to settle before your ego takes over.
Example 1:
Your boss criticizes your work. Your boss says, “This isn’t as strong as I expected.” Your stomach drops and you immediately think, “He/she thinks I’m incompetent.”
Regulate first: Silently remind yourself that, “This is information. This is not my identity.”
Then ask: “What specifically would make it stronger?”
Example 2:
Someone criticizes your parenting. A family member says, “You’re too soft on your kids.” You feel judged and defensive.
Regulate first: Pause before responding. Say to yourself: “They’re just commenting on one thing they observed. This doesn’t define me as a parent.”
Then respond with one of the following:
“I hear you. I’ll think about that.”
Or, if you sense that condescending jackass energy some people walk around with, simply say: “I’m not looking for parenting advice right now.”
Feedback is data, it doesn’t define you.
Remind yourself of that on a regular basis.
2
How to regulate when you feel unheard, dismissed, or misunderstood
Let’s say you’ve just told a friend or coworker about something that’s been stressing you out lately…
And they respond by saying something like, “That’s not that big of a deal.”
How does hearing that make you feel? For most of us, we’d feel dismissed.
And when we feel dismissed, we want to either snap back or stop sharing altogether.
When you feel unheard, dismissed, or misunderstood by a partner, friend, child, client, or colleague, your nervous system processes that disconnection as a threat.
When that happens, you’re no longer in communication mode. You’ve now entered, “I need to prove that my experience is real” mode.
That’s why you feel the urge to raise your voice, over-explain, interrupt, shut down, or walk away.
Your body is trying to protect you from the pain of being dismissed.
Here’s what to do about it…
Here’s what to do to regulate your nervous system:
Let’s go back to the example I shared with you a moment ago: you share something stressful with someone, and they respond with, “That’s not that big of a deal.” Here’s what to do in that moment:
Pause—do not engage. If possible, step away for a moment.
Put both feet on the floor, relax your jaw, shoulders, and hands.
Take 1-3 slow breaths, making each exhale longer than the inhale.
Then say: “I know you may not mean it this way, but when you say that, I feel dismissed. I need you to just hear me for a minute.”
That’s how to handle a situation in which you feel unheard or dismissed…
What do you do when you’ve been misunderstood?
Let’s say you’re in a team meeting discussing a new product launch.
You say:
“I think we should simplify the offer so customers understand the main benefit faster.”
Then a colleague responds:
“So you’re saying we should remove features and make the product less valuable?”
That’s not what you meant.
What you meant was: keep the value, but make the messaging cleaner.
In that moment, you feel your body tense up. Your chest tightens. You want to jump in and say:
“No, that’s not what I said.”
But instead, you take one slow breath and say:
“Let me clarify. That’s not exactly what I’m proposing. I’m not saying we should remove value from the product. What I’m saying is that we should make the offer easier to understand so customers immediately see why it matters.”
Then you might add:
“The product can stay strong. The message just needs to be simpler.”
In moments of misunderstanding, don’t try defending your ego, focus on clarifying what you mean.
3
When you’re overwhelmed, have too much to do, and don’t know where to start
Overwhelm occurs when your mind is carrying around too many open loops at once: Emails, deadlines, errands, family needs, business problems, unfinished projects, and on and on.
Everything feels important. Everything feels urgent.
So your nervous system starts treating your task list like a threat.
That’s when you either:
start trying to multitask (which is anti-productive and doesn’t help)
become frozen with procrastination and avoid it all.