How to handle interruptions, objections, and conflicts in any conversation or presentation
Part 2 • Series: Words that Work — 5 Skills to Become a Dangerously Effective Communicator | Exclusively for members of Club 12 with Dean Bokhari
Welcome back to Words that Work, a 5-part series to help you become a dangerously effective communicator.
In Part 1, we covered how to get busy people to respond to your emails.
Here’s what we’re looking at in Part 2…
Part 2/5 • Series: Words that Work
How to handle interruptions, objections, and conflicts—in any conversation or presentation
Let’s say you’re giving a presentation to a room full of important people.
Things seem to be going pretty well—you feel confident and you’re communicating clearly…
Then, all of a sudden, BOOM:
Someone drops a bomb on your confidence and interrupts you in the middle of your talk. They’re in vicious opposition to the points you’re trying to drive home.
They disagree with you, and they’re making sure everyone knows it…
What do you do?
Do you tell them they’re wrong?
Do you argue?
Do you ignore them?
Do you embarrass them for being rude and interjecting in the middle of your presentation?
No.
Here’s what you do:
Align + reframe
If someone says “you’re wrong blah blah blah,” we naturally want to defend ourselves and prove them wrong.
But what happens when we do that?
Usually, both people end up angry.
So, one way to handle this would be to say something like:
“I can see that” or
“I can appreciate that” or
“I understand where you’re coming from…”
An even better way to handle it would be to simply agree.
Let’s say someone says that XYZ company makes better widgets than your company does…
Instead of saying,
“NO THEY DON’T! We make the best widgets! Let me tell you why…”
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A more effective way to handle it would be to align with them and say something like this:
“You know what, they really are an excellent company, aren’t they? I agree with you, XYZ company really does make an excellent quality widget…”
Once you’ve said that, how could they continue to disagree and argue with you?
After you align, it’s time to reframe…
This simply means to gently guide them back to your points without putting your ‘BUT’ in their face. For example:
If someone says,
“XYZ company’s widgets are the best!”
DO NOT respond like this:
👎 “I can appreciate that, BUT our company’s widgets are blah blah blah…”
When we use the word ‘BUT’ when we’re responding to someone’s point of view, it can often come off to them like we’re disregarding whatever they just said.
Rather than putting your ‘BUT’ in someone’s face, just use the word ‘AND’ instead.
So, let’s run it back one more time…
If someone says: “XYZ company’s widgets are the best!”
An excellent way to respond would be like this: “XYZ company really does make a great widget, and tell me, how long have you been using their widgets?…
Another great response might be: “XYZ company really does make a great widget, and if you don’t mind me asking, have you ever tried ours?…”
Actionable insights
In any conversation or presentation - arguing, getting defensive, or telling people they’re wrong (even when you know it) does not help your cause.
But here’s what does:
Align with them.
Find common ground. And then…
Reframe the situation so that both parties walk away from the conversation feeling good about it.
That’s all for today!
See you in Part 3 of Words that Work,
—Dean
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A lot of gems in this one Dean!